


Anniversary

by beargirl1393



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cheating, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Implied Mpreg, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-18
Updated: 2013-05-19
Packaged: 2017-12-08 21:01:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 14,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/765967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beargirl1393/pseuds/beargirl1393
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Severus Snape was happy. The war was over, he had a successful apothecary, and he was dating Harry Potter. Imagine his surprise when on his anniversary, he finds Harry with another man. What happens next is anybody's guess.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Anniversary

**Author's Note:**

> I've read a lot of stories in this pairing where Severus is the one who cheats, and it annoys me. In my opinion, Harry would be more likely to cheat, so that's where this came from. Inspired by a fic by BlueSkyeCloud9 on FF.net called "To Lose and To Gain". Check it out sometime; it's awesome :)

Severus Snape was happy. That was a relatively new feeling for the former spy, as for a majority of his life was spent in misery. His parents didn't care about him, his one friend left him, he made a mistake and joined the Dark Lord, costing said friend her life and binding him to protect the son of a man he couldn't stand, almost at the cost of his own life. _But now,_ Severus mused, _it is that boy that is the reason I am so happy now._

It was two years after the battle of Hogwarts, the final battle in which Harry Potter defeated Voldemort for good. Severus very nearly didn't live to see the post-war world. He expected that the Dark Lord would attempt to kill him, over the mistaken belief that he was the master of the elder wand, but he was unprepared for his method of death. He expected him to use Nagini, a slow and painful death, but he miscalculated on the number of times he would be bitten. The antitoxin he took was only powerful enough to counter one dose of Nagini's venom, and he was bitten three times. If it wasn't for Harry coming back after the battle to check on him, Severus would have died on the floor of the Shrieking Shack.

 _But I didn't,_ Severus lectured himself, attempting to shove the morbid thoughts away. _Harry took me to St. Mungo's where they treated me. Granted, it took the better part of a year for me to get out of that blasted hospital, but look what came out of it._ Every day of Severus's convalescence, Harry came to visit him. It was through talking with the young man that he had realized the similarities between them. _Both half-bloods, raised dirt poor in the muggle world, with gaurdians who were less than exemplary._ It was six months into their friendship before they realized another trait they shared. They were both gay.

Severus shook his head, remembering that day a year and a half ago. _The poor boy had just ended a relationship, and when I counseled him, imagine my surprise to learn that it was boy trouble, not girl trouble._ Everything seemed to spiral from there. Severus had fallen for Harry Potter, and to his surprise, Harry had fallen for him. Today was their one year anniversary, and Severus planned to make it perfect.

He had gotten up earlier than usual to prepare. He made Harry's favorite for breakfast and took it up so Harry could eat in bed. Harry had been pleased, although he had seemed surprised at the gesture. It was almost as though he had forgotten. _Don't be stupid,_ he told himself, _it was early. He probably has something special planned as well._

After breakfast, he got ready to go to work. Harry was an Auror, just as he'd always dreamed, and Severus had his own apothecary. Since Severus brewed most of the potions for his store at home, nothing seemed suspicious about him hurrying off to his basement lab as Harry was getting ready to leave. Harry very rarely ventured down into Severus's lab, respecting that he kept everything in a certain order. It was also where Severus hid his anniversary present for Harry, at least part of it. Part of it was dinner, which would be Shepard's pie and treacle tart, Harry's favorite. The other part was the gold rings with emerald stones, as Severus was planning to ask Harry to marry him.

* * *

Still smiling, Severus opened the door to Number 12 Grimauld Place, where both he and Harry stayed now. He was in the process of renovating his childhood home at Spinner's End to sale, as he had moved in, at Harry's request, three months ago. As he took his shoes off by the front door, Severus heard something from upstairs. Frowning, he set the bags at the bottom of the stairs and withdrew his wand. _Better safe than sorry._ Harry was at work, so nobody should be there, yet he could hear noises from his and Harry's bedroom.

Silently he climbed the steps, vowing that whoever was stupid enough to steal from him and his lover would regret it. He stopped just outside the door, taking a deep breath before flinging the door open. The sight that met him caused his heart to break. There, in his bed, was his lover and Draco Malfoy. Both sprang apart as the door hit the opposite wall.

Harry paled as he saw Severus in the doorway. The man was paler than death and there was raw, unconcealed pain on his face.

"Severus, I can explain," Harry began.

"Explain?" Severus rasped, his eyes flashing, "You can explain why you were cheating on me? On our anniversary no less?"

Harry paled. "Anniversary?" _Oh hell, he's right. What the bloody hell is he doing here? He's supposed to be at work._

Severus just shook his head. "Of course, you have forgotten. Please, continue with what you were doing. I didn't mean to interrupt."

"Severus…" Harry began, but he trailed off at the look the other gave him. Disgust and anger mixed with sadness and pain. _Oh hell._

* * *

Severus strode out of the room, tucking his wand back into its holster as he did so. His mind was rebelling, unable to process what had just happened. One thought made it through the disorder as he closed the door of his lab behind him. _The first man I have trusted enough to love doesn't love me._ He slid down the door, sitting with his back to it as he finally cried for the relationship he had believed to be perfect, now shattered.

* * *

Harry got rid of Draco and dressed, mindful of the fact that he had possibly ruined his relationship with Severus and unable to process how he felt about that. They had been dating for a year, having been friends for a year before that. Severus wasn't conventionally handsome, which had led him to find others on the side, but he would miss more than just sex if Severus left. _He can be so infuriating when he's right about one of my mad plans,_ Harry thought as he showered, _but without him I probably wouldn't be where I am. His common sense and intelligence helped me to pass my tests to be an Auror. It's also been dead useful to be able to consult him, as he has experience with the way Dark wizards think. Arguing with him is fun, even if we're arguing for no reason. He's always there for me, healing me when I come home banged up from a rough capture, or taking care of me when I come home drunk, even though it hurts him, making him remember his drunken dad._

Harry realized, with a pang, that Severus did a lot for him, while he barely thanked the man. _He works all day in his store and lab, but still makes you breakfast and dinner. He goes out of his way to help you, listening when you complain, and you never ask about him, never try to help him. Granted, potions are beyond you, but you could at least be supportive. Yesterday, he was talking about being stuck while trying to develop a cure for lycanthropy, and you said "Great", you prat._ He hurriedly dried himself off and dressed, resolving to go and talk to his lover.

Opening the door to the bedroom, he debated about where to look for Severus. There were any number of rooms in Grimauld Place, and Severus could be in any of them. He started in the library, hoping that Severus had gone there to do more research on the lycanthropy cure. No Severus, but something was odd. All of the books that Severus had brought from Spinner's End and his rooms at Hogwarts were gone. Refusing to panic, Harry went to the lab, figuring that Severus had gone to his lab to brew. Brewing always relaxed him.

The room was spotlessly clean, but also heartlessly bare. The only thing left in the room was a small black velvet box sitting on what used to be the main lab table. Picking up the box, Harry opened it, looking at the gold rings. A small piece of paper had been tucked in under the velvet and Harry opened it, hands trembling as he read, _Beloved, will you be mine?_ There was a date on the bottom right corner, some three months previous. _What have I done?_


	2. Memories

Severus wiped his streaming eyes and opened the door to his lab, hearing the slamming of the front door as he did so. As Harry's footsteps headed to the bathroom, Severus silently summoned all of his possessions. They flew down to the lab and packed themselves in a box with an undetectable expansion charm on it, while his lab was doing the same with a second box. _I loved him, and he used me. He said he loved me; why did I believe him? I'm not attractive, my career bores him to tears, what chance do I have with him._ Silently, he shrunk the two boxes before slipping out of Grimuald Place and into the cold night. Snow fluttered down, lightly brushing his tear-stained cheeks. Christmas was two weeks away, his birthday soon after. He had expected to be spending the holidays with Harry, but now he was in no mood to celebrate.

He sighed as he checked into a muggle hotel a few streets away from Grimauld Place. _I can't face him right now,_ Severus thought bleakly as he sat on the bed and kicked off his shoes, coat already discarded on the sofa. _If I see him, he could give me any excuse and I would cling to it, just because I want what I thought we had. I need space to clear my head._ As he lay down to sleep, Severus began to plan. _I can walk a few streets away before I apparate to Diagon Ally tomorrow. I'll post a sign in the shop; my customers can owl me their orders for now. My shop is the first place Harry would look, after Spinner's End._

* * *

Back in Grimauld Place, Harry was getting drunk. He had sat and stared at the beautiful rings for a long time, unable to believe what he'd lost. He was lost in memories that the firewhiskey was doing nothing to stifle.

~ _Memory_ ~

" _Harry?" Severus questioned, opening the door a little wider to allow Harry to enter._

_They had started dating a few weeks ago, after Severus was finally out of the hospital and had set up his apothecary. They had had a handful of dates in the three weeks they had been together; between Auror training for Harry and brewing for Severus, neither had much time to spend together, Harry less so than Severus._

" _Sev'rus," Harry slurred, stumbling forward and nearly falling, caught in his boyfriend's arms before he hit the floor, "Th' guys n me wen' fer a drink."_

" _Or several," Severus quipped dryly, gently picking his lover up and carrying him towards his bedroom, "I think you had a few too many."_

_Harry made a non-committal noise, not having the energy to argue with Severus as he felt himself being gently lowered onto a soft bed, his clothes transfigured into pajamas. He felt a kiss pressed to his forehead as Severus whispered, "Goodnight Harry."_

~ _End of Memory_ ~

Harry sighed, thinking about how Severus had stayed up the whole night brewing him a Hangover Remedy, and then stayed awake to cook him breakfast. He had asked Harry to refrain from indulging so much at once, leading to an argument.

~ _Memory_ ~

" _It's my life Sev," Harry snarled, sitting at the table in his pajamas, "What's it to you how much I drink."_

_Preoccupied with beginning on the breakfast that Severus had just sat in front of him, he missed the pained expression that filled Severus's face as he answered, "Because I have seen men ruin their lives, and the lives of those that care about them, all because of alcohol. I don't want to lose you because of this Harry."_

_~End of Memory~_

_And I didn't even care,_ Harry thought, taking another sip of his firewhiskey, _I kept going out with the guys and coming to Sev smashed, and he took care of me, even though he was worried I'd go the way his dad did. He eventually kept a stock of Hangover Remedy around for me at all times._ Harry sat, trying to drink away the pain he felt at losing something he hadn't really realized he had. _I had someone who cared about me and loved me for me, not the Chosen One, and I cheated on him_

* * *

The next morning, Harry awoke with a groan. Opening his eyes, he half expected to see Severus sitting on his side of the bed, reading until Harry woke up and needed his potion. Instead, he was greeted with a pounding head and the realization that Severus really was gone. Stumbling to the bathroom, Harry pulled a Hangover Remedy out of the cabinet, looking at his reflection in the mirror after he downed the potion. _I look like hell,_ Harry thought, taking in his matted hair and creased clothes, which he hadn't even bothered to change out of before he passed out last night.

 _I wonder what Sev is doing,_ he mused, wandering into the kitchen to make something for breakfast. He settled on cereal, not even bothering to attempt anything more elaborate. He stared at the bowl, thinking back to the last time Severus hadn't cooked and he'd been left to his own devices. _It was about two weeks after the fight about my drinking,_ he recalled sadly, _and I didn't say anything when Sirius's portrait tore him a new one for dating me._

_~Memory~_

" _What do you mean you're dating him?" Sirius's portrait fumed. It was located in Sirius's old room at Grimauld Place, and Harry would talk to it from time to time. Now, Harry had decided to see how his godfather would react to his boyfriend._

" _He's my boyfriend, we've been going out for a few months now," Harry said, twining his fingers with Severus's and giving the portrait a smile._

" _You keep your filthy Slytherin hands off my godson," Sirius yelled, causing Severus's face to flush._

" _Black…" he began, but got no farther as Sirius cut him off._

" _Listen Snivellus, he's too good for you. Go and find someone else, one of your little Death Eater friends."_

" _Why you flea-bitten mongrel," Severus growled, causing Harry to frown at him._

" _Severus, you shouldn't say things like that to Sirius," Harry scolded, once again oblivious to the pain in the black eyes that focused on him._

" _Perhaps the mutt is right," Severus murmured quietly enough that Harry barely heard him, slipping out the door and retreating to his lab for the rest of the day._

_~End of Memory~_

_Then I apologized, but I never told him that Sirius was wrong,_ Harry realized, staring morosely at his soggy cereal. He finished eating and just sat staring at the table, hoping that Severus would come back even as he knew that wouldn't happen.


	3. Searching

Severus walked quickly through Diagon Alley to reach his shop. Yesterday, he had admired all of the beautiful Christmas decorations, drinking in the happiness that this season could bring. Today, he could feel himself reacting in his former manner, habit for all Christmases since he was 16. Bored and indifferent, not caring about any particular holiday enough to celebrate it. When he was a teacher, he looked forward to the holidays simply because he had more free time in which to brew, read, or do whatever else he chose.

 _This Christmas should have been special,_ Severus thought as he entered his apothecary, using his wand to create a sign for the window. Stepping back, he observed it critically for a moment.

**Attention customers of Snape's Apothecary: I am closing the store for a period of time. I will still be accepting orders through owl order and ensure that all orders will be filled in a timely fashion.**

Nodding to himself, he put the sign in the window and quickly left, shutting and locking the door behind him. _Now time to post an ad in the Prophet,_ Severus thought, walking to the nearest apparition point to return to his hotel. He'd apparate a few blocks away, ensuring that no one could track his magical signature. _It's ironic that I'm hiding from the one person I believed I could trust completely._

* * *

Harry decided to check Spinner's End, figuring that Severus would have gone there to stay, even if he was fixing it up to sell. Harry winced as he realized that Severus had been doing all of the repairs on his own, without his help. Landing outside the house, Harry had to admit that Severus had done a good job. The shutters and windowsills were freshly painted with black paint, making them stand out against the freshly painted cream exterior. Opening the door, he admired the dark wood paneled hallway, noticing all of the walls seemed to have fresh paint and the furniture looked new.

 _This place is beautiful,_ Harry thought, looking around as he searched for his boyfriend. _I may not have a boyfriend after what I did,_ Harry thought to himself as he began searching for Severus, _but now I can see why he wanted to move here and sell Grimauld Place. He's put a lot of effort in._ After looking in nearly every room, Harry was no closer to finding Severus than he was when he set foot in the house. He'd gone through every room, save one. He quickly entered the library room, sad when there was no sign that Severus was there either. He did find a small leather-bound journal; flipping it open, he noticed that it was a to do list of sorts. The last page was filled with Severus's familiar spiky writing and was dated the day before yesterday. Eagerly, Harry began to read.

_Most of the house has been repaired, though the delays are mostly because I keep having flashbacks to my less than happy childhood here. Those days are over now, but it doesn't mean I have forgotten; one curse of having such a good memory. I plan on finally proposing to Harry tomorrow on our one year anniversary. I've had the rings for several months now, but I haven't found the appropriate time to ask him. I love him and tell him so readily, but it seems as though he doesn't believe me at times. I hope that once I show him the rings, then he will realize how much he means to me; that I wish to spend the rest of my life with him._

Harry hugged the diary to his chest as tears fell from his eyes. _Why? Why did I do it? He loved me; he said so. I never believed him. He may not be the most handsome man, but he's a war hero, a successful business man, and a brilliant Potions Master. I kept thinking that I was nothing to him, that all of his endearments meant nothing. That was how I justified my actions, bedding Draco and others because I felt like I needed to make him jealous enough to want me. I finally find out that he wants me, after I break his heart, and then he left, taking mine with him_. _What are the odds that I would find out that my boyfriend loves me only after I cheat on him?_ Harry was so wrapped up in his circular thoughts that he didn't hear the front door open and shut. The footsteps on the stairs, quiet though they were, were what broke him out of his circular thoughts. He raised his tear-stained face to the door as it opened, revealing an emotionless Severus Snape.

"You're here," Harry croaked, relief flooding through him. _Maybe I can explain, maybe he'll want to try again._

"I was searching for my journal. It has a list of the current repairs that need to be done, as well as my personal thoughts, though I can see that you have already discovered that."

Severus's tone was cold, emotionless and it pained Harry to look at the man in front of him and hear his normal silky voice gone suddenly flat. Worse than his voice though were the eyes. Underneath the mask of callousness, Harry could see the pain; pain that not even Voldemort could get him to show.

"Severus…I…" Harry stuttered, trying to find some way to tell his lover how he felt.

He wordlessly held out his hand for the journal, and Harry took that opportunity to lightly brush their fingers together, drawing away as Severus flinched back.

"Don't," Severus said, barely able to keep his voice in its old monotone. It was hard for him to see Harry so sad, but he didn't believe that the tears were for him. _Probably had a quarrel with Draco,_ Severus thought sadly.

"Severus please…let me explain," Harry said, hating the pain that flared in the deep black eyes.

"Explain?" Severus rasped, unable to mask his hurt, "Explain why I come home and find you in bed with Draco Malfoy on our anniversary, and the only thing you seemed concerned about was the fact that I had caught you. Explain why all of the times I told you I love you, showed you I loved you and promised that you were the only one I wanted, and you said the same, and it was a lie; I was foolish enough to believe it. I have never been good enough for you Harry, like your godfather took pleasure in pointing out. I should have realized when you didn't disagree with him; should have realized that you knew that there were others out there, far more desirable than your former professor."

Harry flinched, each word cutting him like a lash. Pain laced each word, and it was clear that Severus meant what he said. He believed himself to be unworthy of Harry. Unlike Harry however, he didn't sleep around waiting for Harry to leave him; no, the man poured everything he had into their relationship and was repaid by Harry's unfaithfulness.

"Severus…" Harry began, unable to rein in his circular thoughts, "I love you, I do, it's just…"

"You love me," Severus replied, monotone back in place, "Once I would have actually believed that. Now…now I don't know what to believe." He turned to go, leaving Harry frozen to the floor as he watched Severus prepare to walk away. He knew that if Severus left, he wouldn't be able to find him again.


	4. Talking

"Severus," Harry cried, grabbing onto the man's sleeve, "Please don't go. I…I know I screwed up, big time, and if you want to leave afterwards, I won't stop you, but please talk to me."

"What do you want me to do Harry?" Severus asked without turning around, and Harry could hear the despair in his tone, "Did you have a quarrel with Mr. Malfoy and need to talk to someone? I doubt I'll be able to listen objectively to your lovers' quarrel."

"Lovers' quarrel?" Harry asked, frowning in confusion, "I don't love Malfoy; that was the first time we were together."

"How long has this been going on?" Severus asked, unable to believe what he was hearing. _This was the first he's been with Malfoy ? Has he been with others? When did this start? Why did this start?_

"Several months," Harry admitted softly, "You know that after I broke up with Johnathan, before we got together, I never had anyone share my bed for more than a night. I kept that pattern after when we got together, after a time." It killed him to admit it, especially when Severus turned to look at him, betrayal written plainly across his face.

"Why?" Severus asked, closing his eyes against the pain he was feeling, "Why did you do it?"

Harry hung his head. "Do you remember when I told you about my history with other guys."

Severus nodded, wondering where this was going.

"Well, there was one thing in common with all of my failed relationships that I never told you," Harry admitted. "Everyone that I was with wanted me because I was famous, or rich, sometimes for both reasons. The relationships all ended when I acted like myself, not what they expect the hero of the Wizarding world. None of the relationships lasted longer than three months, and I began to accept that; that people didn't care about the real me. When we got together, I was terrified that you would leave too. When you didn't, I tried to think of reasons why you stayed. I assumed that there was someone who caught your eye and you needed to make them jealous. Why else would you treat me so well, even when I acted like myself."

"Because I loved you," Severus whispered, moving away from his lover and sinking into a chair, "I never believed that you would wish more than friendship with me. My feelings ran much deeper than that, and when you expressed interest in a relationship with me, I was overjoyed. There are few who I trust to tell my secrets to, yet I found myself telling you everything about my past, and my dreams of the future. You have your problems, but I was willing to overlook them because you overlooked mine."

"What problems do you have Sev?" Harry asked, trying to think of anything the man had done that could be on par with what he did. _If something bothers him, he won't talk about it unless asked. He is a perfectionist, but that can be a good thing at times._

"I'm a perfectionist, very private, not very attractive," Severus listed.

"But those things make you you," Harry argued, "And what does it matter what people think of how you look? I think you're handsome."

"Apparently not," Severus said, leaning back into the chair and closing his eyes. "So if understand you, your past relationships have led you to believe that no one would care for you, causing you to think I would leave you?"

Harry nodded sadly. "I thought if you found out that someone else wanted me, then you would."

"This has to do with Johnathan, doesn't it?" Severus questioned. He remembered Harry visiting him after that break-up. He had bruises and a broken nose because he wouldn't fight against the man.

"He…He said some things," Harry said quietly, closing his eyes, "He wasn't the most caring of lovers, and I thought that he was the best I could do, because he didn't want me because I was famous. The day we fought, I found him in bed with someone else."

"And you thought that I was like him?" Severus asked, looking incredulously at Harry.

"You were better than him," Harry said, love shining in his emerald eyes, "You are always kind and considerate, doing anything you can for me. I thought that you were this way because you wanted to make up for having another lover, and that thought killed me. With Johnathan, I honestly didn't care that he was with someone else, and I couldn't wait to go. With you…The thought that you were with someone else…" Harry trailed off, unable to articulate what he was feeling.

"Oh Harry…" Severus sighed. _Now what? He is being sincere, I can tell, but why did he cheat in the first place? Why didn't he simply ask me if I was having an affair? And what if I take him back, and he does this again?_ "How could I trust you again? How do I know that you won't keep seeing others behind my back?"

"I don't know," Harry said miserably, "If I tell you that I won't, it won't matter because I've lied before. I love you Sev and I want you, but I don't know how to prove it. I don't know how to go about regaining your trust, because I've already proven that I don't deserve it." By this point, the tears were falling faster, obscuring his vision, but Harry didn't care. Severus was sitting right in front of him, but soon he would get up and leave, leaving Harry alone with a hole in his chest.

"Oh Harry," Severus said again, reaching out his arms for his weeping lover. Harry stumbled forward into Severus's embrace, clutching the front of his robes tightly.

"Please Sev, don't leave! Everyone else has left; I don't know what I'd do without you."

The despair in the tone tore at Severus, but he was still wary. "You miss me Harry, but do you love me?"

The tear-filled green eyes met his wary onyx ones. "I know what it's like to miss someone Sev, and that's not what I'm feeling. Without you around, I don't care about anything. The only reason I left my bed today was to make a bowl of cereal and come here to look for you. If you hadn't come, I would have sat here until you did."

Severus could see sincerity in Harry's eyes, and he desperately wanted to believe that Harry meant what he was saying. He wanted to be certain that the man in his arms would never cheat on him again, never cause him that much pain again. How could he be certain after everything that happened? _Before, if anyone had told me that Harry was cheating on me, I would have told them that they were insane. Now, I don't know. What if someone does say something like that, how would I know if it was the truth or not?_

"Harry," Severus said, looking into Harry's eyes, "I…"


	5. Thinking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't have time to update yesterday, so I'm making it up to you all by updating twice today. Enjoy :)

"Harry," Severus said, looking into Harry's eyes, "I…"

"You don't want me anymore?" Harry whispered, "You've found someone better, someone who listens to you and helps you and…"

"Harry," Severus interrupted, "When would I have had time to find someone else? I went to a hotel last night to think, then this morning I went to my apothecary. After that, it was back to the hotel to write an article for the Prophet about my shop, then here to get my journal. Does that sound like I had any time for clandestine meetings?"

"No. But you can do better. When I was sitting at home last night, after I found out that you left, I was drinking to try to get rid of the pain…"

"Harry," Severus said tiredly, "How many times have I told you to talk rather than try to drown your sorrows in a bottle?"

"I know Sev, but you're missing the point," Harry said, looking at his lover's onyx eyes, still showing the same wary hope as before. _He's afraid I'll do it again, even though he wants to believe that I never would._

"Then what is the point Harry?" Severus asked, looking at the green eyes of his love. _Yes, I still love him, even after he did what he did. I'm a fool, but love makes fools of us all._

"I kept trying to get rid of the memories, but they kept coming back. I kept thinking of all the things you've done for me, and how horrible I was to you. Like when Sirius's portrait insulted you, or I fought with you after you spent the entire night brewing a Hangover Remedy."

"Do the memories haunt you, do they beg and they plead," Severus murmured softly.

"Who said that Sev?" Harry asked curiously, thinking that the words were very fitting for his feelings last night.

"An American muggle singer," Severus said, "So you were remembering all these occurrences…"

"And I realized that I never tried to help you with your problems, that I did my best to not get too attached. It would hurt less…But I was already head over heels anyway," Harry muttered wryly.

"So you think that because you were afraid to get close to me, that I deserve someone better?" Severus asked, looking down at Harry.

"Yes," Harry said softly.

"I am many things Harry, but I am not a hypocrite," Severus said. "I haven't told you how often I have flashbacks about my past, or how many nights I can hardly sleep because of the nightmares. I was afraid to share my weaknesses with you."

"Sev," Harry said, aghast, "You should have said something. It's not good to keep stuff like that inside. You should talk to me about the stuff that bothers you."

Severus raised one dark eyebrow at Harry, who grinned sheepishly when he realized what he had said.

"Hypocrite," Severus muttered, smiling slightly when Harry let out a weak chuckle.

"Where does this leave us Sev?" Harry whispered, solemn once more.

Severus looked at Harry, thinking about all they had been through, as teacher and student, as enemies, as friends, and as lovers. He thought about what Harry had done, and why he had done it. He thought about what would happen, to both of them, if he left Harry.

"I will give you another chance Harry, but if you ever do something like this again I will never speak to you again."

"If I was this stupid again, you'd have permission to hex me sky high," Harry said with a small smile, which Severus returned. He threw his arms around his lover's neck, burying his face in Severus's hair nad inhaling the scent of the Potions Master. "I've missed you Sev."

"It's been one day," Severus replied, tightening his hold on Harry, "But I've missed you as well." _More than I am comfortable admitting right now,_ Severus mentally added. Only time would tell if Severus had done the right thing, or if he made a painful mistake.


	6. Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the second chapter that I promised for today :)

Christmas time had come once again to Grimauld Place. It had been a year since Harry and Severus's disastrous anniversary and several things had changed.

They were still together, but their relationship was better than it had been. Harry still had moments when he felt insecure and worried that Severus would leave him, but he dealt with it better now. He'd tell Severus how he felt, and the other man would soothe his irrational fears, making him understand that he would never leave. Severus began to confide in Harry about his less than happy past, telling Harry more than he had ever told another. He had never felt comfortable revealing his weaknesses, but Harry made it clear that he wanted to help him and wouldn't take no for an answer. Freely sharing what they honestly thought and felt helped them grow closer.

On Severus's birthday, Harry gave him the familiar ring box, only with a slight change to one of the rings. Instead of two gold rings with emerald stones, one of the rings now had an onyx stone in the center.

"It's like our eyes," Harry explained, holding out the emerald ring to his lover, "Onyx for you, emerald for me." He had been terribly nervous, worried once again that Severus wouldn't want him, but that was put to rest as Severus had kissed him lovingly after a few moments of thought, allowing him to slip the emerald ring on his finger and then placing the onyx one on Harry's finger.

The wedding had been small, as Severus had few friends even after the war and most of Harry's disapproved of who he was marrying. Unsurprisingly, Hermione had attended, even though Ron had told Harry that he was insane and that he wouldn't set foot anywhere near the feared former professor. Surprisingly enough, two of the three Malfoys were in attendance and actually Narcissa had seemed pleased. He got his answer after the ceremony when Narcissa had hugged him before they left.

"You'll be good for Severus," she told him, smiling slightly, "He's been alone for so long, and I've never seen him so happy."

Lucius had a slightly different view of things. "I've already reprimanded my son for what he did," Lucius said, his voice low, "But I'll tell you now, don't mess this up. Severus has made mistakes in his past and paid harshly for them. He deserves to be happy, and to have someone who is faithful to him."

As the blonde aristocrat walked away to rejoin his wife, Harry had a moment of doubt. _Does he deserve better than me? I still can't believe he forgave me as easily as he did, considering that the shock and hurt damn near killed him. Why did he forgive me?_ Severus had heard part of the conversation with Lucius, and was worried about the affect his old friend's harsh words would have on his husband. Taking in the distraught expression on his bonded's face, he considered cutting Lucius's tongue out.

"What's wrong love?" he murmured as they prepared to leave. "If it's about what Lucius said to you, ignore him."

"How did you know?"

"I know Lucius and I heard part of his speech," Severus answered honestly, "Add that to your distraught expression, and it was a relatively easy assumption to make." Severus had soothed his conflicted feeling like always, and from there on things had gone better. Occasionally Lucius dropped by to talk to Severus, but he kept his thoughts to himself. Whether this was because of his pureblood manners or because Severus confronted him, Harry didn't know, but he was relieved that the blonde was behaving peacefully.

* * *

Harry was drawn out of his musings as the smell of dinner filled his nose. As usual, Severus was cooking, and Harry had never smelled anything so appetizing before. The food was another reminder of what day it was, and Harry was looking forward to that night as well as dreading it. After dinner, they would exchange presents, and that was when Harry had an important question to ask.

The time seemed to fly, and before Harry really noticed it he and Severus were sitting in the living room by the small tree, a huge concession on Severus's part as he hated how pine trees got needles everywhere.

"Sev, before we start opening presents can I ask you something?" Harry asked, twisting the edge of his shirt in his hands nervously.

Severus noticed the gesture and frowned slightly. _What is on his mind that is making him worry so?_ Harry had been slightly distracted this past week, but Severus had put it down to excitement for the holiday; had he been wrong?

"Of course Harry," he replied, keeping the confusion out of his tone. Bluntly asking why Harry was acting abnormal would simply make him more nervous.

"Well, I was wondering how you felt about…" he trailed off, biting his lower lip, another nervous habit.

"About…?" Severus asked, feeling more confused by the second. _Harry's never had a problem with asking my opinion before, even if he thought we were going to argue; hell, I suspect he starts some arguments just so we do argue._

"Kids," Harry said softly, looking up at his husband to see his response to his unexpected querry.


	7. Kids

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update. I'm studying for finals as the semester ends soon for me

"Kids?" Severus echoed in confusion. "Why on Earth…?"

"Can you answer the question first, then I'll answer yours," Harry said softly, eyeing the honest curiosity and confusion on his husband's face.

"Well," Severus said, wondering where Harry was going with this conversation, "Wizards are different than muggles, seeing as two wizards can conceive whereas two male muggles cannot. However, most wizards need the help of potion to increase fertility. If this conversation is asking me for how I would feel about us having a child, I would ask that you postpone this argument until I can brew the necessary potion. It will also give us the time to consider if we're ready for children."

As Severus spoke, a myriad of expressions played across Harry's face, settling on sadness and a little fear as Severus finished. He began to cry, unable to cope. _He's going to leave; I know it. All of the other stuff I did was horrible, but he managed to forgive me; I doubt the same will hold true again._

"Harry?" Severus questioned, gently pulling his husband into his arms, "What's wrong? I need the time to brew the potion anyway; it's not one that many use. I thought it would be wise to use the time…"

"No," Harry rasped, his face buried in the front of Severus's robes.

"No you do not wish to use the potion, or no you do not wish to consider it?" Severus asked, confusion increasing tenfold.

"We don't need the potion, and there's only your reaction to consider," Harry mumbled, still not meeting his eyes. He was too afraid to see the anger he was certain would be there, along with the disappointment. The memory of Severus leaving was still sharp, and it killed him to think that he would leave now.

"What are you…?" Severus started before everything clicked. _He doesn't need the potion because…No, not even he could be that lucky…Then again, this is Harry Potter, or Potter-Snape now…Only he could do this, seeing as it's near impossible._

Harry waited for Severus to finish questioning him, and hoped that the silence meant he was catching on. He was terrified that Severus would be upset, even as he hoped that Severus would be pleased. His mind was swirling in many directions, it didn't help that Lucius Malfoy was here earlier and had broken his silence to degrade him.

_How long until he tires of you? How long until you push him away again? This time he will not return._

"Harry," Severus said, breaking Harry out of his thoughts, circling endlessly around Malfoy's earlier comment. "Harry, are you…pregnant?"

 _He always was the smart one,_ Harry thought, trying to pull up a bit of that Gryffindor courage as he said, "Yes." His voice wavered, betraying the uncertainty he had tried to hide.

"Harry, love, I thought you always wanted children? Shouldn't you be more excited?" Severus asked. _What has gotten into Harry? He's acting like…like he's afraid I'll be angry._ "Harry…"

"I'm sorry," he blurted out, unable to stop himself.

"Why are you sorry love? This is unexpected, I'll admit. Only you would be the one chance in one hundred thousand that a male can conceive without a potion, but that matters little. I love you, and I love this little one too," Severus reassured his love, gently placing one hand on the still flat stomach.

"You aren't…angry? We didn't really expect this this soon…" Harry was cut off by Severus claiming his lips, telling him without words exactly how he felt.

"How did you find out?" Severus asked once they pulled away, "How far along are you?"

"Two months," Harry said, smiling slightly as he saw the genuine happiness on the other's face. "I've been feeling so awful lately; it's your nausea potion that lets me leave the bathroom before dinner. I hate going to Healers, but I felt dreadful and probably looked worse, so I went to St. Mungo's and they ran some tests. I found out earlier in the week…"

"Ah, so that is why you were so distracted recently," Severus said, realizing that Harry's nervousness was indeed because of Christmas, but for a different reason than he expected. "You assumed I'd be unhappy?"

"Well…" Harry bit his lip; all of his worries seemed so stupid now. "I thought…And then Malfoy…"

"Lucius?" Severus asked confusedly. The blonde had dropped by when Severus was showering, meaning that he had talked to, and obviously upset, Harry. "What did he say?"

"How long until he tires of you? How long until you push him away again? This time he will not return," Harry said, pain lacing each word. "I…I know you love me, but…we never really talked about kids, and…we've only been together for a little while. Most people wait longer until they have kids."

"Lucius is an idiot," Severus said, "And one that I will need to speak to. We made our peace when the war ended, but I will not have him upsetting you needlessly. He should respect my decision, even if he disagrees with it."

"He's your friend Sev," Harry protested, not willing to let him sacrifice one of the few friends he had, "And I shouldn't listen to him. I know he still doesn't trust me, and sometimes I don't think he should. I was stupid and I hurt you, and…"

"And I have forgiven you," Severus said, giving Harry a gentle kiss. "Do you remember my reaction to Weasley's note, and his refusal to come to our wedding even though his wife was coming and he was your first friend?"

Harry's brow furrowed in confusion and contemplation. "You were upset…you said that it was your fault that Ron was being a stubborn git…and you said you felt terrible because you were driving me from my friends...oh," he stated, realizing where Severus was going with this, "You feel about Lucius like I do about Ron."

"If he can't respect the decisions that I make, then I don't see why I should respect him," Severus said, throwing Harry's words from months ago back at him.

Harry smiled at Severus. "So you really are happy Sev?"

"Ecstatic," Severus murmured.


	8. Criticism

"Harry," Severus called out as he entered Grimauld Place, still fuming about his encounter in Diagon Alley. _Who the bloody hell does Lucius think he is?_

"In here Sev," said Harry, his voice coming from their bedroom. It sounded like he had been crying, making Severus hurry, praying that nothing was wrong. _If Lucius got to him before he talked to me, I'll kill him. I don't care what he thinks, he shouldn't say things like that to Harry._

"What's wrong love?" he asked, entering the room and seeing his very pregnant lover sitting on the edge of the bed, crying softly.

Several months had passed, and it was now April. Harry was now seven months pregnant, although so far they still didn't know what they were having. During all of the previous scans, the mediwitch was unable to get a good enough angle because of how the baby was laying. Everything had been going fine, or so he thought. Of course, the Prophet had a field day, because the Boy-Who-Lived was pregnant with a Death Eater's baby, but that had blown over two months ago. Now, he was wondering if it had started up again.

"I saw Ron today," Harry said, nuzzling into Severus's chest as the other man sat down and wrapped his arms around him.

"I take it that he is the reason you are upset?" Severus asked, mentally cursing the youngest male Weasley.

"He wasn't pleased," Harry whispered, although that was an understatement. He hadn't spoken to Ron since the wedding, so he decided to invite him over, to try to make amends. It didn't go as planned.

_~Flashback~_

" _Ron," Harry cried as his friend stepped out of the fireplace. He struggled to get out of his chair (he was quite large now) and moved to hug his best mate. He froze when Ron spoke._

" _What the hell's the matter with you Harry? Are you cracked mate? You married SNAPE, and now you're pregnant with his greasy spawn? What the hell mate?" The other boy was glaring, clearly wondering why Harry had married Severus in the first place._

" _I love him Ron," Harry said, softly yet defiantly. He wasn't going to let Ron badmouth Severus; he still felt guilty about when he had let Sirius do it._

" _He's Imperioed you, hasn't he? That's the only way that the Harry I know would let the greasy git get anywhere near him."_

_~End of Flashback~_

"…And then he wouldn't listen to me, kept saying I was mental, or cursed or something," Harry finished, looking up at Severus, emerald eyes still swimming with tears. Severus pulled his handkerchief out of his pocket, wiping the tears from Harry's cheeks.

"Mr. Weasley has no great love lost for me Harry," Severus said calmly, even though he longed to go and hex the boy. The insults were nothing new, but he had upset Harry greatly.

"It doesn't matter Sev," Harry cried, "He's supposed to be my best mate; I was thinking about making him godfather to our child. Why can't he accept that I love you? Why doesn't he trust me?"

"Why doesn't Lucius trust me?" Severus asked quietly, recalling his encounter with the Malfoy lord.

_~Flashback~_

" _Lucius, to what do I owe the pleasure?" Severus said, looking up from stocking the shelves as his old friend entered. He hadn't seen much of the elder Malfoy since it was announced that Harry was pregnant._

" _I came to talk to you Severus," Lucius drawled, walking through the empty apothecary. It was closed for the day, but Severus was still there to restock the shelves and see which potions he would need to brew. "I wanted to warn you."_

" _To warn me about what?" Severus asked, confused._

" _That Potter's brat is more than likely someone else's," Lucius said, cutting quickly to point of his visit._

" _What?" Severus asked, nearly dropping the vial of headache remedy he was placing on the shelf. "Why the hell would you say that Lucius?"_

" _Because I still don't trust him Severus," Lucius replied coldly, "He betrayed you once before, what's to say he didn't do it again?"_

" _He didn't have an affair," Severus responded, his voice even more icy than his friend's, "I trust my husband, otherwise I wouldn't have married him._

_~End of Flashback~_

"…He spent the next twenty minutes trying to convince me that you had cheated on me," Severus said finishing his narrative, "He only stopped when I threatened to set his hair alight."

Harry giggled slightly at the image that conjured before sobering once more. "Now you and Lucius are fighting over me," he said, frowning. He hated that he was a cause of discord between the two men.

"Lucius should have known better than to say something like that to me," Severus replied, not loosening his hold on Harry. "He finally said that I had to choose between my friendship with him and my marriage to you. I guess you can see which I chose," he said, smiling slightly.

"That's what Ron said too," Harry said, smiling at his husband. "You do realize that we now have no candidate for our child's godfather, and Hermione refuses to be godmother because of my quarrel with Ron," Harry said, his smile faltering once more.

"Perhaps Minerva for godmother, and the wolf for godfather," Severus suggested, knowing how much Harry admired Remus.

The werewolf had managed to survive the battle, as not even the Killing Curse can kill a werewolf. Stun them yes, sending them into a catatonic state until the next full moon, but only silver or another werewolf can kill a werewolf. He was surprisingly accepting of the marriage and pregnancy, visiting often as he was able. He and Teddy lived at Hogwarts, where Minerva had re-hired him as the Defense professor.

"Really?" Harry asked, his green eyes shining happily. "I mean, I know you've never hexed him, and you were civil, but you really think he'd be a good godfather?"

"His son is well mannered," Severus conceded, "And I believe that he would treat our son fairly if anything ever happened to us."

"So our best friends hate our marriage, and your old enemy is going to be our child's godfather? Merlin how times change," Harry laughed.

Severus joined in, glad that they could put Lucius and Weasley's stupidity behind them this easily. _I wonder how Lucius would have claimed the baby wasn't Harry's if I was carrying? That will probably be Weasley's next argument._ Severus and Harry had decided that if they decided to have another child after this one was born Severus would carry. _We'll cross that bridge when we come to it,_ Severus thought, relaxing now that he was certain all was well.


	9. Seeing Sense

Lucius scowled as he stalked through Diagon Alley, making his way to Severus's shop out of habit, even though the other man never spoke to him. It was May, a month after he told Severus that Potter was still cheating on him, and still Severus hadn't given up. His choice was clear, enforced by the last words the man had spoken to him.

_If you are asking me to choose between my husband and our friendship, I sincerely doubt that this friendship is worth salvaging._

Lucius shook his head, trying to clear those thoughts away. _How did it come to this? Finding out that Severus was dating the Golden Boy was unexpected, without a doubt. Finding out that he actually loved him was something else. Finding out that Draco, my son, Severus's godson, was in bed with one of the few people cared about; that was infuriating. To think, after all Severus had done for both of them, they decide to break his heart. Then, Severus decides to give him a second chance; why, I'll never know. Then marriage, and now children? When the boy cheats again, what will he do? The fool man gave his heart to someone who could never love him back._

Lucius was so trapped in his brooding thoughts that he almost didn't realize when he neared Severus's apothecary. Ironically, it was a conversation between the two people he was thinking about that broke him out of his musings. Looking up he saw that Harry Potter, well Potter-Snape, was standing in front of the apothecary, talking to Severus. A Severus who looked happy, no more than happy. He looked alive, alight with an emotion that he had never seen on the face of his friend before. It was the same look on his face when he looked at Narcissa, or when she looked at him. Love; he really loved the golden boy.

And, still in the shadows, he could see Potter's face as well. He could see the radiant joy on his face, the expression that showed, quite clearly, that adultery was no longer an issue. _He loves him back…Severus was right. Potter really loves Severus, as much as Severus loves him in return. I didn't think that was possible…I thought that Severus was nothing more than a challenge, a prank perhaps…But that look, the way they act…I have been an utter fool._

Lucius watched at the two men walked into the store, possibly so Potter could sit down. After all, he was pregnant. Merlin, what had he done? _I've belittled and berated him constantly, as much as I thought I could get away with, and I sacrificed my friendship because I was unwilling to trust my oldest friend._

Shaking his head at his own sentimentality (really, he's not a Gryffindor), Lucius stepped out of the shadows, walking briskly across the alley and into the apothecary. Potter was sitting on a stool behind the cash register, his back to the door for the moment. When the door opened, he turned around with a smile.

"Welcome to Snape's Apothecary," Harry said, the rest of his welcome speech fading with the smile on his face as soon as he spotted Lucius.

"Potter," Lucius said coolly, unsure how to go about apologizing. He was a Malfoy and a Slytherin; neither apologized. "Is Severus in?"

"Perhaps you have the wrong address," Severus's cold tone preceded him out of the back room, "This is an apothecary. If you are looking for a place to attempt to break apart marriages, perhaps I could suggest a matrimonial agency."

"I need to speak to you, to both of you," he amended, noticing Severus's eyes narrow suspiciously.

"What is it this time Lucius? More claims of infidelity? Or are you going to try to make Harry feel like he's unworthy again?" Lucius nearly flinched. He had forgotten how Severus's icy disapproval had always cut deeply, had managed to make him feel like he was back at Hogwarts, paying the dirt poor half-blood to do his homework, even though he was years ahead.

"Neither; I'm here to apologize," Lucius said, noting sadly that Severus still seemed suspicious, while Potter just looked stunned. _Was I really that bad?_ "When I left the Manor this morning, I had every intention of standing here until you saw sense."

He held up a hand, asking Severus to wait for him to finish before commenting. "I realize, however, that I am the one that needed to see sense." He was slightly amused to see Severus's normal composure slip, revealing him to be as stunned as his husband. "I saw the two of you moments ago, standing and talking outside the shop. You looked…happy, and that is all I wished for you Severus. I thought that he would make you miserable, instead I find the couple of the year."

"I assume that crows are now extinct in Britain," Severus said after a few minutes, causing Lucius to smirk at his old friend.

"Possibly. Do you realize how rare it is for me to apologize?"

"About as rare as me forgiving and forgetting," Severus replied dryly.

"Do you mean it?" Potter, _I really probably should address him by his given name_ , asked.

Taking a deep breath, Lucius said, "Yes, I meant it. It is difficult for me to acknowledge, but I have treated you unfairly. You apparently realized you're mistake and I was too blind too see that."

"Wow, an honest to goodness apology from Lucius Malfoy; now I've seen everything," Harry said, shocking the hell out of Lucius by smiling.

"Will you be able to be civil, at the very least?" Severus asked, "I know friendship is unlikely, but will you promise to keep you're snide comments to yourself?"

"Yes; I will endeavor to remain within the bounds of propriety."

Potter looked confused for a moment. "You two need to speak English," he complained, "Is that you're way of saying you won't act like you hate me?"

"Yes, I suppose it is," Lucius replied, turning to leave.

"You could come to dinner someday," Potter offered, looking at Severus for a moment before refocusing on Lucius, "So we can try to get to know each other."

"Why on Earth…?" Lucius couldn't think of any reason that Potter would want to talk to him.

"You're Sev's friend; you're important to him," was the only response he got.

Nodding in agreement and turning to leave, Lucius realized that maybe being civil to Potter wouldn't be that hard. Maybe.


	10. Surprise

"Someday" was set for two weeks after Lucius apologized. May was drawing to a close, as was Harry's eighth month of pregnancy. In an effort to distract his nervous husband (who seemed to desire to clean every room in Grimauld Place and the apothecary the muggle way), Severus suggested that they invite Lucius over, to see if he really meant what he said.

Currently, Harry was fidgeting in his seat as Severus placed the food on the table, putting warming charms on each plate so they would keep warm until their guest arrived.

"What if he didn't mean it?" Harry finally asked, looking at his dark eyed husband got drinks ready for everyone, non-alcoholic in Harry's case.

"Then he will promptly be shown to the door," Severus replied calmly, having already answered this question several times in the past few hours.

"It'll be awkward," Harry said.

"Probably," Severus admitted, "But it could be worse."

"What do you mean Sev?" Harry asked curiously.

"Well, Narcissa is in France, and Draco is in Spain, so Lucius is the only one visiting. If Draco were visiting as well…"

Harry shuddered, "I would not want to see that. Has Lucius actually spoken to Draco since that happened?"

"No," Severus said, a little stiffly, "He is upset that my godson would do something like that; not just to me, but to anyone."

"Oh," Harry said softly, dropping his head so Severus couldn't see the tears forming in his eyes. _I made Sev and Lucius fight, and they're still not friends completely again. Lucius stopped talking to Draco because of me; why did I have to be so stupid?_

"Stop that," Severus said as he took a seat beside Harry, dinner preparations forgotten.

"Stop what?" Harry asked, still refusing to look at Severus. _Damn hormones._

Severus gently tilted Harry's face up, placing a chaste kiss on his husband's lips. "Stop blaming yourself for everything. You didn't force Draco to hop into bed with you. I have already forgiven you, and if my godson acted at all sorry I might actually forgive him. The chances of that happening are about the same as Delores Unbridge marrying a centaur, so stop blaming yourself."

Harry chuckled slightly at Severus's analogy before taking the offered handkerchief to wipe his eyes. He sighed. "I know Sev, it's these damn hormones. I'll be happy, sad, angry, then guilty all in the space of a few minutes. It's driving me mad."

"I would have assumed you were already there Potter," Lucius's voice said from the doorway.

"Why do you say that Mr. Malfoy?" Harry asked warily, standing to shake his hand.

"Severus convinced you to marry him. Either you are insane or impervious to sarcasm, I'm still debating which," Lucius said, "And you can call me Lucius. When I hear you say Mr. Malfoy I automatically think back to that brawl in the bookstore with Arthur Weasley."

Harry chuckled. "I remember that. I think that was the first time I'd ever seen Mr. Weasley turn the same shade of red as his hair."

"You came off worse for wear in that encounter if I recall Lucius," Severus remarked, setting the drinks on the table and motioning for Lucius to sit.

"How'd you know about that Sev?" Harry asked. He knew the man wasn't in the bookshop; he wouldn't have gone anywhere near Gilderoy Lockheart.

"Who do you think patched him up?" Severus asked as both he and Harry sat down, "He was too proud to go to a Healer."

"You did fine Severus. I always said that you should have gotten your Mastery in Healing rather than Potions," Lucius said, lazily waving off Severus's comment.

Harry laughed outright at that, causing Lucius to shoot him a questioning glance. "I've told him the same thing a bunch of times," Harry admitted, still laughing. "He's patched me up after several of my captures went south and I didn't want to go to St. Mungo's. I told him either cooking or Healing should be his new profession."

"After this, I agree with you Potter," Lucius said, taking another bite of the grilled chicken.

"Who would've thought I'd see the day where Lucius Malfoy and Harry Potter are having a civil conversation?" Severus asked, smirking as both men glared at him.

"Very funny Sev," Harry muttered, unable to keep from grinning after a few minutes. Things were going better than he could have hoped. Lucius was acting polite, even cautiously friendly. _Apparently he really is making an effort after his revelation two weeks ago._

* * *

Dinner passed rather quickly, and after spelling the dishes clean they went into the sitting room to talk. It was slightly awkward at times, but Lucius did attempt to be civil and was actually beginning to like Harry. _He seems to be good for Severus. Maybe almost losing him made him realize how he felt?_

A knock at the door had all three heads turning in that direction, cutting off Harry's joke about the vampire, yeti, and werewolf going into a pub.

"Who on Earth would be here this late?" Severus asked, glancing from the clock to the door, "Were you expecting anyone Harry?"

"Not me Sev," Harry said, just as confused as his husband. It was a weekday, so that meant no Minerva, Remus, or Hagrid. Ron and Hermione still weren't talking to him, Ginny had been ignoring him since he told her he was gay, and the other Weasleys were still coming to terms with Fred's death. Neville and Luna were on their honeymoon, so they were out as well.

The knocking persisted, so Severus rose to open the door, followed by Harry and a slightly curious Lucius Malfoy. _Who in their right mind would disturb Severus this late in the day? It's obviously not one of Potter's friends, as he's as confused as Severus is._

Severus opened the door, coming face to face with one of the last people he expected. "Draco, what are you doing here?"


	11. Dragon's Rage

The blonde shifted slightly, hands in the pockets of his jacket. "The house elves told me my father was here."

"So I am," Lucius said coldly, stepping up to the door as Severus stepped back, "But I have already said all I was going to say about this matter."

"Father, be reasonable," Draco cajoled, still standing on the doorstep, "I didn't do anything that wrong. Potty deserved to be pranked, and if it brought Snape down a peg too, so much the better. They're half-bloods anyway, so it's not like they're anyone important."

Harry choked back a sob hearing Draco's harsh words, about Severus as well as himself. _Sev was right,_ Harry thought as he hugged his husband tightly, _Draco will never apologize._

Severus was having great difficulty not pulling his wand and hexing the insolent brat standing on his doorstep. Hugging Harry ensured that his arms were put to better use while he comforted his husband.

Lucius looked at his heir with disgust. "Have I taught you nothing? Blood purity matters, but it also depends on the individual. Severus has done much for our family, regardless of his blood, and Mr. Potter defeated the Dark Lord. Both deserve respect."

"But…" Draco began, but he was cut off by Lucius.

"But nothing. Until you can act in a manner befitting a Malfoy heir, I want nothing to do with you. You are old enough to take responsibility for your actions."

"But you said Potter shouldn't be with Snape," Draco protested, angry that his father wasn't overlooking what was, to him, a simple mistake.

"I believed that he would break Severus's heart, which is why I didn't believe they should be together. They proved me wrong, however, which is why I am here now," Lucius replied, his tone saying better than words that Draco should stop while he was ahead.

Severus and Harry were watching the family feud silently. Neither wanted to cause a rift between Malfoy elder and Malfoy junior, but they also knew that nothing either of them said would change Lucius's mind.

"Good-bye Draco, and I hope that, in time, you will realize what you have lost and ask their forgiveness," Lucius said, making to shut the door.

"What I have lost?" Draco sneered. "An old Potions Master and a famous partner? Why would I miss either?" With that, Draco spun on heel and apparated away.

Lucius sighed as he shut the door. "I apologize for my son. He can be stubborn, but I think in time he will understand."

Harry said nothing, burying his face in Severus's robes to hide his tears. Before he was stupid enough to sleep with Draco, they had actually been good friends. Now, that was gone.

Severus rested his chin on Harry's head as he thought over Draco's reaction. An idea came to mind, based on what he had observed in the past. "Is it possible that he is jealous?"

Both Harry and Lucius looked at Severus. "What do you mean Severus?" Lucius asked curiously.

"He has had a crush on Harry for several years. I assume that he slept with you so that I would find out that you were unfaithful and leave you, allowing him to take my place."

Harry's eyes widened as he thought about what Severus said. He thought back to the day where Severus caught him in bed with Draco, and realized that the blonde had looked smug, rather than surprised. "I think you're right Sev."

"That would explain a lot," Lucius replied slowly, thinking back, "Like when he tried to drink himself senseless when he learned of your wedding, and again when the news of your pregnancy was announced. I finally sent him to one of the other estates, because I couldn't stand his brooding and drinking."

"He was upset that I had the man he wanted," Severus said, "And he was further angered when you were angry with him because of what he did."

"What do we do now?" Harry asked, unsure which of the two men who was asking the question.

"Nothing," Lucius answered. "Draco needs to learn that he can't have everything he wants simply because he is a wealthy pureblood. That was a lesson hard learned for me after the war, and I have a feeling that my son will struggle with it as well. He will come to his senses, in time."

Both Harry and Severus nodded, understanding that Draco had to see sense on his own, just as his father had two weeks ago. The rest of the evening passed rather quickly, despite the fact that all three were rather tense. Each was wondering the same thing. _When will Draco see sense? And what will happen to cause that change?_


	12. New Propositions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will jump around a bit; sort of an update on all fronts

Draco sighed as he took a sip of his drink. Merlin, he must be depressed if he's visiting a muggle nightclub, of all places. Looking around, he saw several men who would fall for the Malfoy charm, but couldn't be bothered to use it. He had been following the same pattern each night since that dreadful encounter at Grimauld Place two weeks ago. Get up, look for potential employment (even though the thought made him ill), and after dinner go and seduce someone from the club, bonus points if they looked like Potter. He was living off of his trust fund at the moment, and when that ran out he wasn't sure what he would do.

Merlin, why was it so hard to get over him? It was one time, not even one time, and here he's sulking like a teenager because the object of his affections loved someone else. It was clear what Potter and his former Potions Master shared was really love, and that annoyed him all the more. Maybe annoyed wasn't the right word. Depressed? Yes, that was definitely the word for how he was feeling. If surly and snarky Professor Snape was able to find someone that made him happy, then why couldn't he?

The shot wasn't as good as firewhiskey, but it would do for now. Looking in the muggle world was better than in the wizarding one, as anyone who shared his bed would be only too happy to talk to a reporter. No, better stick to muggles, even over in Spain where people didn't give a damn about him.

What made matters worse was that even his father was siding with Potter and Snape. The elder Malfoy had no qualms about telling Draco exactly how he felt about his affair, make no mistake about that. It annoyed him to no end that his former enemy was on better terms with his father at the moment than he was. How on Earth did that happen?

_He said I would see what I lost and beg for forgiveness, but the one counters the other. I know what I lost, but I lost it when it was never mine. Harry has had eyes for Severus for years, before either of them realized it. I would beg, certainly, but not the way Father imagines. I would beg Harry to leave Severus and marry me. I'd adopt his child as my own, anything for my love, but that will never happen. Harry loves Severus, and the sadistic bastard actually loves him back. Why does that bother me so much? Both have been through a lot, and I should be happy for them, but I can't. I want what they have, and I'm miserable because I don't have it. I want someone who loves me for me, and who I love in return. I want someone who makes me want to make something with my life, who makes me want to do something other than sit and drink my life away. Why is it so many others can have that but I can't?_

With another sigh, Draco finished his drink and ordered another. He wanted to stop thinking, and stop feeling so bloody depressed.

* * *

Lucius looked at his sleeping wife and sighed. Once more, darkness didn't hide the tear tracks on the pale cheeks. Narcissa had always wanted more children, but when her mediwitch advised against it, she had thrown every effort into Draco, pampering the boy. His own actions in regards to Draco weren't any better, but both of them had hoped that he would turn over a new leaf after the war ended. They had seen the error of their ways, and had hoped that Draco had as well.

Now, all hopes for the boy were worthless as he wallowed in the grief that accompanies unrequited love. Keeping tabs on the boy was worthless, as it only upset them both. Draco would do nothing for a large portion of the day, frequenting bars each night and seldom returning home alone. It broke their hearts to see Draco going this way, but what could they do?

 _Perhaps I can attempt to distract her again tomorrow,_ Lucius thought, carefully stroking his wife's porcelain cheek. _Severus and Harry have both been surprisingly sympathetic, and no doubt wouldn't mind a visit. I can owl them while they are at the apothecary. Perhaps I can convince them to let Narcissa take them shopping for the baby. Narcissa always loves shopping, and no doubt will dote on this child as much as she would one of her own. Severus has always hated to shop, and I doubt Harry likes it either, but perhaps they will give in to her just this once. Last week, both of them commented on how hard it was to pick out the colors for the nursery. Even though it is a girl, I doubt either of them will dress her in anything pink, so Narcissa will have her hands full there._

The Malfoy lord smiled as he thought of his old friend's probable reaction to that note. _Lucius, I suggest you watch what you eat or drink for a few weeks,_ the blonde thought to himself. No doubt, the Potions Master could be creative if he wanted to be, and he wasn't a Slytherin for nothing. It was his cunning that allowed him to spy on the Dark Lord so successfully, and he wouldn't mind putting his skills to use tormenting annoying friends.

* * *

Severus smirked as he watched his husband waddle, there was no other word for Harry's gait at this point, towards him. Sitting down, Harry leaned against him with a sigh, reaching a hand behind to rub his lower back.

"More salve tonight?" he asked, knowing that he was going to apply it regardless.

Harry seemed to sense that as he nodded. "Yes, my back is killing me. Ugh. I love our daughter, but I will be exceedingly grateful when she is born. I'm huge, my ankles are swollen, my back hurts, and I'm so tired sometimes. It's frustrating."

Severus kissed him gently, turning Harry so that his back was leaning against Severus's chest. He moved his hands, slowly massaging his love's back, trying to ease some of the pain until he could apply the healing salve in a few hours. Harry leaned back into the touch, sighing in relief.

"Merlin Sev, that feels wonderful," Harry breathed, closing his eyes as he enjoyed his impromptu massage. He had come looking for his husband to ask him how his meeting with Minerva went, but he was too busy enjoying his husband's talented fingers to bring that up now.

"Better love?" Severus asked a few minutes later. The stew probably needed stirring, but it would keep for a few minutes.

"Much, thanks Sev," Harry said, turning and giving Severus a quick kiss in thanks. "I was going to ask you why Minerva wanted to talk to you, but that was worth the wait."

"Minerva had an interesting proposition," Severus said as he moved to check on the stew. "She wants me to retake the job of Potions Master at the school, with you taking up the Defense post during the full moon. When you weren't helping Remus, you would be with Madame Hooch, assisting her."

"What did you tell her?" Harry asked, thinking it over. On the one hand, he did miss his job as an Auror, but he wasn't really going to be able to go back to that and be a good parent at the same time. He enjoyed helping Severus out in the apothecary, mostly because he was able to be around Severus so much more often. If they went to Hogwarts, how would they be able to take care of their daughter and teach, as well as spending some time together?

"I told her I would speak to you, but that I was happy with the apothecary and that it seemed that you were as well," Severus replied. "There have been married couples on staff before of course, but it was generally one who worked at Hogwarts, while the other remained at home with the children, or was occupied with some other job if they had no children. I have no idea how we would manage."

Harry laughed. "Sev, I was wondering about that as well. I love visiting Hogwarts, but I really don't want to try teaching. I like helping you out with the apothecary, and I'm actually learning something about potions. I think we're happy where we are, and we should enjoy it while it lasts."

"Words of wisdom from the savior of the wizarding world," Severus said, setting the bowls down on the table. He dodged out of the way as Harry sent a mild stinging hex at him, smirking slightly.


	13. Changes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter before the epilogue :)

Severus lay in the hospital bed, his newborn daughter in his arms and his exhausted husband sleeping with his head on Severus's chest. Severus smiled at his daughter, his and Harry's miracle.

 _Oh little one,_ Severus thought, gently trailing his finger down the rosy cheek, _you have no idea how much your father and I love you._ He watched as the blue eyes slowly closed once more, sleep claiming her again. Harry had only been sleeping for a little over an hour, falling asleep shortly after they named her. _Rosabella Lily Snape,_ Severus thought, smiling. _My little rose._

* * *

In Spain, Draco was sitting at his kitchen table, staring at a piece of parchment. He had no idea what to say. _Sorry for being such a prat…I've realized that it was wrong for me to try to wreak your marriage._ Draco shook his head in disgust. _I can't do this. They won't accept my apology anyway. Maybe Blaise will have an idea how I should go about this._

Draco had met up with his fellow Slytherin on accident, one night when he was at the bar he frequented. Blaise was traveling, taking a vacation to all of the places he had always wanted to go to, before he went to school to be a Healer.

They sat and talked that night, and Blaise had knocked some sense into Draco; literally. When he found out what Draco had said and done, Blaise had knocked his blonde friend upside his head. It took several weeks, but Blaise was no quitter, and finally Draco's stubbornness abated and he saw that he had been wrong to sleep with Harry, even if the other was willing.

 _I should probably stop thinking about Blaise and write this bloody letter,_ Draco thought ruefully. He often found himself thinking about his friend at different times throughout the day, and it was quite disconcerting, especially since he couldn't decide how he felt.

 _Forget about Blaise for now, worry about how you're going to convince Snape & Potter that you're serious and want to bury the hatchet. After what happened last time, I think Snape would rather use the hatchet to chop you into kindling, but it's best to try, right? Maybe a present? Bribery isn't accepted by most, but maybe it will help prove my sincerity? Something for the kid…what're they having anyway? Hm, neutral colors then. Oh Merlin, I'd kill to see Potter's face if I sent a Slytherin green blanket._ Laughing to himself, Draco took up his quill to pen his apology, planning on going shopping when he left to meet Blaise for coffee. Then he could attempt contact with his family again. Thinking about his family made him wince, remembering his father's last words to him. _Does he always have to be right about stuff like this?_

* * *

**The next morning…**

Lucius and Narcissa entered the hospital, smiling at Harry and Severus sitting side by side, waiting for the Healers to release them and their new daughter.

"She's beautiful," Narcissa cooed, "What's her name?"

"Rosabella Lily Snape," Harry said, smiling as he let Narcissa hold her.

"A nice name," Lucius conceded, moving to stand by his wife, "Though it is unusual."

"Rosabella means 'beautiful rose', plus it sounds nice and isn't common without being insane," Harry said, slightly miffed that Lucius was making fun of his daughter's name.

"Fair enough," Lucius responded, "I remember in the Prophet this morning, someone had named their daughter Polyxena. Unusual yes, but we aren't in ancient Greece."

Severus laughed. "Do you have cause to mock _Lucius_?"

Lucius sniffed. "I'll thank you not to mock my name _Severus._ "

Severus was unruffled. "Lucius, whatever you are considering saying about my name, I've already heard it and worse from the Marauders at school."

Harry looked at Severus, but there was no anger evident when he spoke of his past tormentors. Nearly dying and falling in love had helped to make him see that there was nothing he could do to change the past; he just had to accept it. Not forgive them necessarily, but accept what had happened and move on.

"Regardless, I think it's a beautiful name," Narcissa said, rocking Rosabella slightly as she began to fuss.

An owl pecking at the window distracted them before either of the proud parents could respond.

Severus got up to open the window, saying "Beauty is as beauty does."

The owl fluttered in the now open window, perching on Severus's shoulder until he removed the letter and package. It then flew over to where the tray from breakfast was sitting and grabbed the crust from a piece of toast before flying back out the window.

"I know that owl," Lucius murmured, looking at Severus as he read the name on the envelope. _What are you up to now Dragon._

"It's from Draco," Severus said as he read the name. The confusion was evident in his voice as he asked, "Why would he be writing us?"

Harry shrugged as Severus moved back over to the bed, handing Harry the package while he read the note.

"Will wonders never cease?" Severus murmured, skimming the letter, "He says he is sorry for the stir he caused. He thought he loved you, while he was in love with the idea that someone would love him, faults and all. You are rather good at that love."

"You're kidding," Harry said, dropping the package and reaching for the letter. "I thought Malfoys never apologize."

"We do if we are proven wrong," Lucius said, smirking, "But that is so rare…"

"Oh, be quiet Lucius. Silence is golden after all," Severus grumbled, picking up the package warily. He opened it after casting spells to detect hexes or curses. Everyone was surprised to see a stuffed gold and red lion resting beside a stuffed green and silver snake. A note was attached to the snake's neck. _Decided to cover both bases, because getting only a snake would probably be a jinx._

"Well, it appears that Draco is making an effort," Severus said, watching as Harry picked up the lion, "But what caused him to change?"


	14. Epilogue

**11 years later**

"C'mon Papa, we're going to be late," Raven said, tugging Severus out of his lab.

"We are not going to be late," he told the six year old exasperatedly. "We still have an hour before we have to leave to see your sister off, and I am not waking your father up for another half hour."

"Too late Sev," Harry said, concealing a yawn as he came down the stairs. His hair was more tousled than usual and he looked barely awake.

"Raven Aralyn Snape, how many times have I told you to let your father sleep if he's worked late?" Severus asked, giving his youngest daughter a reproving look.

The little girl squirmed guiltily. "A lot. But Papa, we're gonna be late."

"Merlin child, if this is how you are when Rose is going to Hogwarts, I am going to give you a Calming Draught when it is your turn," Severus sighed, making Harry laugh.

"Where is Rosie anyway?" he asked, giving Severus a quick kiss, causing Raven make a face.

"In her room. I was collecting her ingredients from where she stored them, but a certain someone decided that was not in our best interest."

Harry just laughed again. "Raven, why don't you come help me get your brother ready while Papa helps Rosie finish packing."

"Ok," Raven conceded easily, her green eyes sparkling. She turned and skipped down the hall to her brother's room, humming. She turned back. "I can't wait until it's my turn to go to Hogwarts. Me and Scorpious are going to have so much fun."

"They'll burn down the bloody castle," Severus muttered as he turned to head back to his lab. Raven had inherited more than just Harry's green eyes. She had inherited his mischievous nature in full, and was forever playing pranks on her siblings, with the help of her best friend Scorpious Malfoy.

"I know how to cast Aquamenti Papa," Rosabella said, coming out of her room to see what had taken her father so long and catching the tail end of the conversation. "The castle will be safe."

Severus smirked at their eldest daughter. Rose was the most like Severus, bookish and already mildly sarcastic. There was very little doubt that she was either going to be in Slytherin or Ravenclaw, for she loved reading as much as Severus did.

Severus and Rosabella went down in the lab to collect Rose's potions supplies, while Harry went to get their three year old son ready for the day.

James Albus Snape was a mixture of both of his fathers. He had Severus's keen wit and Harry's good heart in full, even though he was still young. He watched his father with sleepy jade eyes, half-listening to his hyper sister's babbling.

Despite Raven's predictions, the Snapes managed to make it to King's Cross with time to spare. Raven quickly sought out Scorpious, and the two were chattering happily as the rest of the Snapes approached the Malfoys. Draco and Blaise were helping their eldest, Lucien, load his trunk on the train.

"What house do you think you'll be in Rose?" Blaise asked.

"Well, Papa and Daddy both say I'm cunning enough to be a Slytherin, but I really want to be in Ravenclaw," Rose replied, flicking a strand of her ebony hair out of her face.

"Why Ravenclaw?" Lucien asked curiously. He was well acquainted with Rose, but she had always been closer to Teddy Lupin than him.

"I like to read and learn new things," was the swift reply. "Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure."

"I think you have that memorized better than half of my classmates did," Harry laughed, hugging his daughter as the whistle blew. "Have fun at school."

"If you have forgotten anything, send an owl home and we'll send it on," Severus reminded, also hugging her. "You'll do fine, no matter where you are Sorted."

She nodded, hugging them both back tightly before saying goodbye to her siblings and hopping on the train. "See you at Christmas."

As the train pulled out of the station, Harry was reminded of the day, almost thirteen years ago, when Severus had walked in on him and Draco in bed. He had thought that that was the end of their relationship, but he had been wrong. In the years that had passed, their relationship was stronger than ever. Draco had gradually been accepted back, right after his son's birth. Of course, no one had even known he and Blaise were together, much less married and expecting, until they came to visit. It was awkward at first, but no one ever said that life was easy. As Harry watched his eldest daughter ride away, he smiled. He would have never believed his life would turn out like this, but he wouldn't have it any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed, left kudos, or subscribed to this story :)


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